Graffiti with punctuation

I once heard that a blog was nothing more than graffiti with punctuation. This week's things to look at are some favorite quotes of mine. These are all provided to me by a former high school teacher that I stay in touch with. He sends me packets full of these various quotes from time to time as he gathers them himself. Hopefully some or all of these apply to you or give you a smile.

"Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often."
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car!"
"If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip."
"No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes."
"Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it."
"Life is simpler when you plow around the stump."
"Never ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night."
"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you!"
"Easter is the only time it's good to put all your eggs in one basket."
Question: "What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?"
Answer: "A receding hareline."
"God added one more day to your life not because you need it, but because someone else needs you!"